Instead I felt outside myself, detached, emotionless. I should have been happy, or, at the very least, content. She often challenged me in ways that I felt were exciting. Whereas I was hesitant and often disengaged, Lolly was passionate and headstrong. After years of being in relationships yet feeling emotionally alone, I had finally met a person who felt right because she was so different from me. I still felt like there was something essential in my being that was lost or missing or had never been there in the first place. I didn’t believe that I was in any way unique in my general feelings and experiences. “You’re burnt out,” my partner, Lolly, offered. As I ate my breakfast, I pored through the pages of another psychologist’s book, my version of a “beach read.” The topic? Emotionally unavailable mothers.Īs I read it-for professional enrichment, or so I believed-the words activated an unexpected, and confusing, emotional response. I was in upstate New York with my partner, Lolly, on what was supposed to be a vacation, a retreat from the stress of city life in Philadelphia. How to Do the Work PDF Book by Nicole LePera Name of Book Mine happened in a log cabin in the middle of the woods, where I found myself sobbing uncontrollably into a bowl of oatmeal. Poets and mystics always seem to have their transcendental awakenings somewhere divine-on a mountaintop, while staring off into the open sea, by a babbling brook, next to a burning bush.
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